NOTHING WRONG HAVING CHILDREN OUTSIDE WEDLOCK—DELE ODULE

Dele Odule, a veteran Yoruba actor, was recently reported to have fathered 10 children, all from different women. Some may argued that he is not the first or last to do so as there abound several others in his shoe.

However, the actor who is believed to be in his 50s, has made it clear that he doesn't see any problem with having many children as long as he can cater for their various needs.

"That is not peculiar to an actor alone. Muslims do have a lot of children. Former Head of State, late (Sani) Abacha, had many children and he was not an actor. Late MKO Abiola also had (many children), Sunny Ade (musician) also. 

“The Bible says ‘stone that person to death, provided you have not also sinned.’ That is to say we all have one skeleton or the other in our cupboards. It’s just because I’m a public figure that people are privileged to know about my life and my privacy," he declared.

Despite having some children outside the confines of marriage, the Oru-Ijebu-born actor has reportedly been with his wife for 25 years.© 2014Nigeriafilms.com

Countdown to your Wedding Planning Checklist

  

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16-9 Months Before YOUR WEDDING

• Start a wedding folder or binder.
  Begin leafing through bridal, lifestyle, fashion, gardening, design, and food magazines for inspiration.
• Work out your budget.
  Determine how much you have to spend, based on your families’ contributions and your own.
• Pick your wedding party.
  As soon as you’re engaged, people will start wondering who’s in.
• Start the guest list.
  Make a head count database to use throughout your planning process, with columns for contact info, RSVPs, gifts, and any other relevant information. (Want to keep costs low? It may be brutal, but the best way to do it is to reduce your guest list.)
• Hire a planner, if desired.
  A planner will have relationships with—and insights about—vendors.
• Reserve your date and venues.
  Decide whether to have separate locations for the ceremony and the reception, factoring in travel time between the two places.
• Book your officiant.
• Research photographers, bands, florists, and caterers.
  Keep their contact information in your binder.
• Throw an engagement party, if you wish.
  But remember that your invitees should be on your wedding guest list as well.

8 Months Before

• Hire the photographer and the videographer.
  No need to talk specifics yet, but be sure that the people you hire are open to doing the shots that you want.
• Book the entertainment.
  Attend gigs of potential acts to see how they perform in front of audiences, then reserve your favorite.
• Meet caterers.
  If your wedding venue doesn’t offer its own catering service, look for one now and hire the service this month or early next.
• Purchase a dress.
  You’ll need to schedule time for at least three fittings. Veil shopping can be postponed for another two to three months.
• Reserve a block of hotel rooms for out-of-town guests.
  Pick three hotels at different price points close to the reception venue.
• Register.
  Sign up at a minimum of three retailers.
• Launch a wedding website.
  Create your personal page through a free provider such as weddingchannel.com. Note the date of the wedding, travel information, and accommodations. Then send the link to invitees.

7-6 Months Before

• Select and purchase invitations.
  Hire a calligrapher, if desired. Addressing cards is time-consuming, so you need to budget accordingly.
• Start planning a honeymoon.
  Make sure that your passports are up-to-date, and schedule doctors’ appointments for any shots you may need.
• Shop for bridesmaids’ dresses.
  Allow at least six months for the dresses to be ordered and sized.
• Meet with the officiant.
  Map out the ceremony and confirm that you have all the official documents for the wedding (these vary by county and religion).
• Send save-the-date cards.
• Reserve structural and electrical necessities.
  Book portable toilets for outdoor events, extra chairs if you need them, lighting components, and so on.
• Book a florist.
  Florists can serve multiple clients on one day, which is why you can wait a little longer to engage one. Plus, at this point, you’ll be firm on what your wedding palette will be.
• Arrange transportation.
  Consider limos, minibuses, trolleys, and town cars. (But know that low-to-the-ground limos can make entries and exits dicey if you’re wearing a fitted gown.)
• Start composing a day-of timeline.
  Draw up a schedule of the event and slot in each component (the cake-cutting, the first dance).

5-4 Months Before

• Book the rehearsal and rehearsal-dinner venues.
  Negotiate the cost and the menu. If you’re planning to host a day-after brunch for guests, book that place as well.
• Check on the wedding invitations.
  Ask the stationer for samples of the finished invitations and revise them to suit your needs.
• Select and order the cake.
  Some bakers require a long lead time. Attend several tastings before committing to any baker.
• Send your guest list to the host of your shower.
  Provided you, ahem, know about the shower.
• Purchase wedding shoes and start dress fittings.
  Bring the shoes along to your first fitting so the tailor can choose the appropriate length for your gown.
• Schedule hair and makeup artists.
  Make a few appointments with local experts to try them out. Snap a photo at each so you can compare results.
• Choose your music.
  What should be playing when the wedding party is announced? During dinner? To kick off the dancing? Keep a running list of what you want—and do not want—played.

3 Months Before

• Finalize the menu and flowers.
  You’ll want to wait until now to see what will be available, since food and flowers are affected by season.
• Order favors, if desired.
  Some safe bets: monogrammed cookies or a treat that represents your city or region. If you’re planning to have welcome baskets for out-of-town guests, plan those now too.
• Make a list of the people giving toasts.
  Which loved ones would you like to have speak at the reception? Ask them now.
• Finalize the readings.
  Determine what you would like to have read at the ceremony—and whom you wish to do the readings.
• Purchase your undergarments.
  And schedule your second fitting.
• Finalize the order of the ceremony and the reception.
• Print menu cards, if you like, as well as programs.
  No need to go to a printer, if that’s not in your budget: You can easily create these on your computer.
• Purchase the rings.
  This will give you time for resizing and engraving.
• Send your event schedule to the vendors.
  Giving them a first draft now allows ample time for tweaks and feedback.

2 Months Before

• Touch base again with all the vendors.
  Make sure any questions you or they had on your first draft have been answered.
• Meet with the photographer.
  Discuss specific shots, and walk through the locations to note spots that appeal to you.
• Review the playlist with the band or deejay.
  Though you probably won’t be able to dictate every single song played, you should come prepared with a wish list.
• Send out the invitations.
  The rule of thumb: Mail invitations six to eight weeks before the ceremony, setting the RSVP cutoff at three weeks after the postmark date.
• Submit a newspaper wedding announcement.
  If you’re planning to include a photograph, check the publication’s website: Some have strict rules about how the photo should look.
• Enjoy a bachelorette party.
  Arranging a night out with your girlfriends generally falls to the maid of honor. But if she hasn’t mentioned one to you by now, feel free to ask—for scheduling purposes, of course!—if a celebration is in the works.

One Month Before

• Enter RSVPs into your guest-list database.
  Phone people who have not yet responded.
• Get your marriage license.
  The process can take up to six days, but it’s good to give yourself some leeway. If you are changing your name, order several copies.
• Mail the rehearsal-dinner invitations.
• Visit the dressmaker for (with luck!) your last dress fitting.
  For peace of mind, you may want to schedule a fitting the week of your wedding. You can always cancel the appointment if you try on the dress then and it fits perfectly.
• Stock the bar.
  Now that you have a firm head count you can order accordingly.
• Send out as many final payments as you can.
• Confirm times for hair and makeup and all vendors.
• E-mail and print directions for drivers of transport vehicles.
  This gives the chauffeurs ample time to navigate a route.
• Assign seating.
  Draw out table shapes on a layout of the room to help plan place settings. Write the names of female guests on pink sticky notes and the names of male guests on blue sticky notes so you can move people about without resketching the entire setting.
• Purchase bridesmaids’ gifts.
  You’ll present them at the rehearsal dinner.
• Write vows, if necessary.
• Get your hair cut and colored, if desired.

Week of the Wedding

• Reconfirm arrival times with vendors.
• Delegate small wedding-day tasks.
  Choose someone to bustle your dress, someone to carry your things, someone to be in charge of gifts (especially the enveloped sort), someone to hand out tips, and someone to be the point person for each vendor.
• Send a timeline to the bridal party.
  Include every member’s contact information, along with the point people you’ve asked to deal with the vendors, if problems arise.
• Pick up your dress.
  Or make arrangements for a delivery.
• Check in one last time with the photographer.
  Supply him or her with a list of moments you want captured on film.
• Set aside checks for the vendors.
  And put tips in envelopes to be handed out at the event.
• Book a spa treatment.
  Make an appontment for a manicure and a pedicure the day before the wedding. (You might want to get a stress-relieving massage, too.)
• Send the final guest list to the caterer and all venues hosting your wedding-related events.
  Typically, companies close their lists 72 hours in advance.
• Break in your shoes.
• Assemble and distribute the welcome baskets.
• Pack for your honeymoon.

WEDDING TIPS

Wedding Planning with your Fiance 

 

When it's just the two of you, dating, life can be grand. It is truly the most self absorbed period of your relationship when there are no more worries than what movie to see or where to eat dinner. You can talk for hours about everything under the sun and you can fantasize about your future life together.And then you get engaged. After the "hour of bliss" of being newly engaged, reality gives most of us a big smackdown. 

Without realizing it, the ring symbolizes the beginning your public relationship. Your relationship is no longer about just the two of you. When you get engaged, you are becoming a son or daughter in law, a brother or sister in law, and you are joining a new family. Imagine being adopted at age 25 or 30 and this is what it's like to get married. You are entering into a new emotional forcefield, a new family you did not grow up with and do not share a history with. Even if you've known your fiance(e) for years, there is nothing quite like "til death do us part" to change the way others will relate to you or to change how you view or relate to others. All the sudden your boyfriends mom is going to become your mother-in-law. If you want children, you will be making her into a grandmother and she will be your childrens grandmother, no matter how much you love or hate her. 

WHAT IS YOUR IDEAL WEDDING?

Although there are hundreds of decisions in planning a wedding, there is a shorter list of key ones that reflect your cherished hopes for your wedding. We have developed a worksheet  to help you clarify your expectations for six key areas of your wedding: location, size, season, ceremony, wedding party, and who will pay. All of these decisions affect one another, and there will be challenges in implementing them as a package. Being clear on what you prefer, what you feel you must have, and where you can bend, will help you avoid future conflict. 

There is lots of advice available to you about the timing and logistics for deciding these matters. Our interest is on how you can surface your hopes and ideals, so that you can understand each other better and be a good working team as you begin your discussions with your families and other stakeholders in you wedding.  

When Balogun Gboyega Adesoye gave out the hands of his daughter in marriage

Wedding of  TECHLUM boss' daughter, OLAMIDE in Lagos, Nigeria. Proudly presented by Empire Mag.

The super weddings that shook Lagos..... Only In Empire Mag.

Savour the front cover of the official magazine for this wedding in Lagos, Nigeria. Pick your copies on the newsstands, both in the UK, Nigeria and USA. It's indeed a collector's item.

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